whatdiscworldtaughtme:

434. Most things can be resolved by a sufficiently large ego.

other-wordly:

pronunciation | \per-o-‘koz-m\

(via amazingmrk)

Death by ~jul0022

(via tzecco)

the-unsigned:

reverse-mermaid:

DEAR TUMBLR

PLEASE ACCEPT THESE SLOPPY CHELLEY MAKEOUTS AS ATONEMENT FOR MY EUROVISON SPAM.

except now i have to find a way to atone for the sloppy makeouts. maybe i didn’t think this through…

Although this is hot, I’m not convinced of your apology and I think you should draw more sloppy chelley makeouts to convince me of your sincerity.

DEAR TUMBLR

PLEASE ACCEPT THESE SLOPPY CHELLEY MAKEOUTS AS ATONEMENT FOR MY EUROVISON SPAM.

except now i have to find a way to atone for the sloppy makeouts. maybe i didn’t think this through…

AAAAAAND we’re done for the night.

Still going for the Russian grannies. Not voting for them would be like punching a kitten in the face.

FINALISTS #2

1. Lithuania. Apparently people are suckers for a sparkly blindfold? WHO KNEW.

2. Bosnia and Herasfhgshjgfsl. Eh.

3. Serbia. I er, can’t actually remember this act…

I hate listening to this woman try to build up suspense, it is PAINFUL.

4. UKRAINE. YAY JELLY BABIES!

5. Sweden. She is the favourite I guess, and when ninjas tell you they want to win, you listen.

6. Macedonia. This woman reminds me of my aunt a whole lot, actually. 

7. Norway. Thrusting pays!

8. Estonia, AKA MISTER EYEBROWS! Look how happy his eyebrows are!

9. MALTA YAAAAAAAAY. Those fancy feet deserve a place in the finals.

LOLOL you can see that Georgia have basically given up. They give no fucks at this point.

GET ON WITH IT YOU AWFUL HOSTS

10. TURKEEEEEEYYY. Nobody can resist a batman-tumblr-pirate act. 

THE BIG FIVE… and Azerbaijan. PFFFFFFT.　

EXTRA ACTS…?

Russia: This guy lost to the grannies. I CAN KIND OF SEE WHY. But I am impressed by his snake charmer buddy there.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT NOTE. Deary me, sir.

Serbia: OOOOH IT’S THE BUTCH LADY FROM SERBIA I actually kind of love her, I will admit. Girlfriend is fierce, okay.

Norway: VIOLIN BOY! I remember him! Awww, so many Eurovision memories.

Germany: I don’t know if I remember this act…? No wait, I think I do, in that I remember it being unmemorable…

…WHY IS THE WOODEN HOST MAN SINGING ABBA

NO

STOP

WHY

YOU ARE NOT EVEN SWEDISH

NOOOOOOOO

If you guys haven’t noticed, I base my votes solely on how ridiculous an act is. WHAT ELSE IS EUROVISION FOR.

Apparently these were the ‘stronger acts’, but I personally was disappointed in the lack of sequins. WHERE IS THE RIDICULOUSNESS.

Malta need to go through for their fancy footwork, The Netherlands need to go through for that ludicrous headdress, and Ukraine needs to go through for the jelly babies. And Georgia, because they were SO BAD that they deserve it. And the Turkish batman pirates.

THE RUSSIAN GRANNIES ARE STILL MY FAVOURITE.

I DEMAND MORE FINALISTS

there was not nearly enough terrible pop in that semi-final. NOBODY WATCHES EUROVISION FOR THE BALLADS.

LITHUANIA

A song about a broken heart! I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH ALL THIS INNOVATION!

He has a sparkly blindfold. I kind of really want him to fall off the stage, it would make my night.

OH MY GOD HIS DANCING

THE 70S CALLED, THEY WOULD LIKE THEIR MOVES BACK.

There is such a disco vibe here. It’s like lounge disco.

‘Love is Blind, but the audience is not, so here are some writhing women for the backdrop’.

…Wait, that was it?